The line for the donkey tours start at my left ear drum….
So here I am as empty as a drained pool, my face blank except for the pale white glow of the monitor, expecting something magical to erupt from my fingertips. I’ve wanted to write more for a while and while a few ideas have come to me I’ve never jumped on them quick enough and ideas tend to fade and change and lose the impactfulness they originally rush at you with when you let them sit, so I am once again devoid of topics. But I must write.
So I’m experimenting. If I just sit here and force myself to write what will appear? I know in writing before that I usually just start with a basic idea (rarely is anything I venture at truly planned out in any real way) or sometimes just a sentence. I take this sudden spark, start typing, and my imagination does the rest. Copious amounts of information fill the page, some brilliant, some utter shit, but words with meaning behind them none the less. So I figured the same might happen if I sit without an idea. No spark, no line, no story thread arching across my neural pathways. Nothing.
So far so good (way too many paragraphs starting with “so” by the way.) But this part is easy. I’m explaining what I’m doing and that isn’t a bad thing. It’s obviously gotten things going. It’s a good primer for whatever comes next. It’s not Earth shattering but (hopefully) it’s not inducing tear jerking boredom either. There has to be a next though. I can’t ramble on for page after page about how I am currently devoid of an idea. Something has to blossom and become a torrent of description and tale. I can’t keep wasting time by going on and on about this void between my ears.
Or can I? Truthfully it is my writing so I can go on and on about whatever the fuck I feel like. Will you read it though? Who knows. I’d say who cares but I suppose in some way I do. So again I ask: would you read it though? Are you reading it. Can I still entertain as I ramble about something so unimportant and insignificant as to be nothing more then a waste of your time. This also begs the question as to whether or not it actually is a waste of time? Can something of value be gleamed from these ramblings? Could we discover any insight as to how the mind works? How thoughts stream and shift from one to the next. Plot and graph the similarities of two very distinct and dissimilar thoughts?
What about the aspect of writing? Is there something to be said for how these thoughts, born of no idea what so ever yet still pouring effortlessly from my gray matter, turn from simple electrical pulses traveling through my nervous system down through my fingers and crafting words upon this page? Can one who writes themselves study this and compare it with themselves maybe even molding and shifting their own techniques? Is there more to be gleamed from this then what it seems?
Fuck no, it’s the stupid overblown writings of a man with no idea who is trying desperately to force one out. Yet, it is writing. It is therapeutic, entertaining (in some way), and it’s a start. It’s the beginning of more writing. The more I do this the more ideas I will start to amass. The more I do this the better I will become at it. I will exercise my vocabulary making it easier and easier to use that word next time that this time is on the tip of my tongue but I can’t quite remember it until finally it is simply a part of my everyday lexicon. It is practice in grammar and sentence structure. It is learning to use auto correct better (because I will never learn to spell.) It is a start. It is better than nothing at all. It is an exercise for a part of my body whose only exercise tends to be video games and the occasional faux drunken philosophical conversation.
I feel I must wrap this up. As usual I have rambled on longer then I should have, especially for one with nothing to say, and my time would be better spent on something with an actual idea. Some meat and meaning. If I come up with something of interest I will share. If not I’m sure I will do this again only next time I will at least find some mundane topic to chime in on as opposed to having nothing (not to be confused with nothingness; an interesting idea in and of itself.) In the end remember if you have nothing to say say it anyways. We’re all here for our own enjoyment anyways so fuck everyone else.